Shaun Gets Another Friend - Part II

DISCLAIMER: John From Cincinnati and its canon characters are the property of HBO and the show's producers; no copyright infringement is intended.

Written by KatieDorrII

Cissy arrived home to find Mitch in a foul mood as usual.

"What the hell were you thinking to let that retard move in here?"

"He's not retarded, you asshole. He's just a little...slow. Shaun likes him, and he needs a father figure in his life."

"Let me get this straight. You think some weirdo Shaun picked up off the street is a better father figure than I am?"

"Well gee Mitch, Butchie turned out so well...."

"That was all Linc Stark's doing, and you know it."

"Yeah, but Butchie's in his thirties, numbnuts, how long can we keep blaming Linc? We need a new whipping boy. You know, just in case..."

"Just in case? What?"

"In case you haven't noticed, you self-absorbed jerk, Shaun is getting more like Butchie everyday. Even has that fucking chip on his shoulder. Why, I don't know, but it's kind of a turn-on---Oh. My. God. I can't believe I just said that!!! I meant--"

"Jesus Christ... you're sick Cissy, you're evil, and the biggest bitch I've ever known. I can't even sleep for fear you'll murder me, but this.. takes the cake, even for you."

"Oh please, not even close... "

Just then Shaun and Carl come in from the garage.

"Gram, look at this! Carl here is pretty good at shaping boards. He's making a custom one for me."

"Oh yeah?" Cissy said, suspiciously. "And you learned how to shape surfboards in that 'hospital', I suppose."

"No maam. Reckon I learned how to when I was a just a boy, in my shed. My daddy kept some old tools out there, mmmmm. t-square, a cutter ...some folks call it a router, I call it a cutter."

"That's some nice work, for a retard." Cissy said.

Mitch: "You just told me that he wasn't retarded..."

"Shut the fuck up, I said no such thing. Carl, how would you like to work for me at the surf shop? I couldn't pay more than minimum wage, $2 an hour, to start. I'd also have to keep you locked up in the back room."

"Alrighty then. Reckon I don't feel right when I'm not locked up."