Who Can Turn The World With Her Smile

DISCLAIMER: John From Cincinnati and its canon characters are the property of HBO and the show's producers; no copyright infringement is intended.

Written by waxon

Mary: “Mr. Grant, this is John.”

Mr. Grant (in gruff a tone): “Hi, John.”

John: “Lou Grant should get back in the game.”

Mr. Grant: “What game?”

John: “You do not hear my Father’s words.”

Mr. Grant: “Who’s your father?”

Ted (in a deep voice): “Lou, he says he’s from Cinn-cin-nati” (rolling his eyes)

Murray: “I have a cousin who lives in Cincinnati!”

John: “Lou Grant should get back in the game”

Mr. Grant: “Mary! In my office!”

(In Mr. Grant’s office, Lou opens the desk drawer and pulls out a bottle of Scotch and pours himself a drink.)

Mr. Grant: “OK, Mary, who is this nut ball?”

Mary: “I don’t know Mr. Grant he just followed me into the station and keeps repeating the phrase, “The end is near.”” (Mary mimicking John’s emotionless tone.)

Mr. Grant (in sarcastic tone): “Hey, I like it. It would make a great story! Only problem is … WHAT THE HELL IS HE TALKING ABOUT!?”

(Lou storms out of his office)

Mr. Grant: “All right, John from Cincinnati, are you looking for a job or are you looking for the nuthouse you escaped from?”

John: “Lou bones Sue Ann and breaks her jaw.”

Mr. Grant: “Ted!…Your fired. John, you're on in 8 minutes!

Ted: "Lou! Looouu!"

Mr. Grant: "OK, Ted you're on in 8 minutes, John, lets see how you can write."

(8 minutes later - on the air)

Ted (in deep voice): "And now, the news... pedestrians in the downtown area are harassed by a chicken in a man costume...film at 11." (A piece of paper is handed to him) "This just in...The end is near. Circle...line...circle...line. I don't know, Butchie, instead." (looks stunned at what he has read...smiles... giggles in embarrassment). (regaining composure and serious tone) "Butchie does not ring a bell to this reporter."

(Mr. Grant storms out of his office)

Mr. Grant: "MARY!!!"