Wednesday, September 26, 2007

John's Other Visitations - The Business Partners Have Their First Official Meeting

DISCLAIMER: John From Cincinnati, Deadwood, and their canon characters are the property of HBO and the shows's producers; no copyright infringement is intended.

Written by theshriek

[John returns to Al’s office and knocks.]

Al: Come in! So young man did you bone Dolly?

John: I boned Dolly, and then I broke her jaw.

Al: [Smiles] You and I going to get along fine. Now John since you and I are going to be business colleagues perhaps you can tell me what you meant by “Al Swearingen should get back in the game.”

[John looks confused.]

Al: What do I need to do?

[John continues to look confused.]

Al: [Sighs] This is high water. Looks like I will be carrying all of it in this relationship. I am never going to get any peace around here.

John: The entire fucking gaggle of ‘em is gonna have to bleed and quit before we can even hope for peace. The Chief is a slow fuckin’ learner.

[Al looks at him in surprise and then rolls his eyes.]

John: The camp will want a parade.

Al: A parade to celebrate the exit of fuckin’ Hearst and the fuckin’ Pinkertons? [Considering] That idea is not any worse than the one where Merrick published that fuckin’ letter. The fuckin’ hoopleheads do love a parade.

John: E. B. will lead the Hosannas.

Al: We just had an election. The hardware Jew is Mayor. [Pause] John should we have a sit down with the Jew about a parade?

John: Al we should have a sit down with the Jew about a parade.

Al: We probably should include His Holiness even though he lost to Manning.

John: We should include His Holiness.

Al: Do not repeat back to me, what I just said in different fuckin’ words! Do you have any original thoughts in your head?

John: I don’t know Butchie instead.

Al: [Sighs again] I don’t even want to know what a fuckin’ Butchie is. John a fancy parade is gonna cost some money.

[John looks pained and pulls the inside of his pants pockets to show that they are empty.]

Al: You mean I have to pay $50 or more of my own money for a stupid fuckin’ parade!?! That is not what I meant by a fuckin’ partnership John.

[John puts the pushes his pant pocket back to their normal position and reaches in and pulls out $50.]

Al: [Smiles] That’s more like it. [Goes to the door of his office and opens it.] Johnny! Get that Jew and Bullock over here.

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