DISCLAIMER: John From Cincinnati and its canon characters are the property of HBO and the show's producers; no copyright infringement is intended.
Written by theshriek
[Buffy and the Scoobies are on patrol. A group of vampires appear, and Buffy quickly dispatches them to dust while the Scoobies stand around talking and watching her. Suddenly behind Buffy another figure appears. She swings around and stabs him in the chest. She immediately realizes her mistake.]
Buffy: I am sorry! I so thought you were a vampire.
[She and the Scoobies are not really surprised when the man’s wound begins to heal immediately.]
Zander: [Sarcastically] Oh great! It is going to be one of those kind of nights.
Buffy: What are you?
John: I am John.
Zander: [To Buffy and Willow] They must be running out of names for species in hell.
John: The end is near.
The Scoobies in unison: NOT AGAIN!!
John: When we come on 9/11/14 Buffy can wield her stick.
Buffy: That’s my job.
John: Willow can cast a spell to help Buffy wield her stick. Zander can stand around and talk.
Zander: Hey! That is not fair. I contribute. There was that time…
Willow: [Interrupting Zander] Look at his shirt. That figure looks familiar. What is it?
Zander: It looks like that self-portrait you did when we were in second grade.
Willow: I remember now. It is a Monad, and they are not evil. The only detail that I remember about them is their ability to heal themselves.
Buffy: We need to get him to Giles. Let’s go John.
[John holds out his hand. Buffy takes his hand and the group leaves the cemetery.]
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